Two Ways We Earn Trust

In earlier editions of The Thriving Mindset, we explored how established leadership habits can continue shaping our decisions long after the demands of our roles have changed. If this interests you, you may also want to revisit

• TTM #152 - The Architecture of Trustworthiness; Intimacy and 

• TTM #151 - The Architecture of Trustworthiness; Self-orientation.

In the previous two articles of The Architecture of Trustworthiness, we examined how a leader's preoccupation with their own performance can affect trust, and why it happens that people sometimes hesitate to speak openly with a manager whose professional judgement they respect. 

These are the dimensions of Self-Orientation and Intimacy in the Trust Equation developed by David Maister, Charles Green and Robert Galford:

Trustworthiness = (Credibility + Reliability + Intimacy) / Self-Orientation

This final article looks at Credibility and Reliability, which experienced managers often assume they have already established through studies, certificates, diplomas and direct exposure. And it is understandably so. Their careers provide plenty of evidence: demanding assignments completed, difficult decisions taken, qualifications earned, responsibilities entrusted to them.

Yet a director may have an impressive record and still leave colleagues wondering whether their judgement can be challenged, whether an agreement will be honoured, or whether they will take responsibility when a decision proves wrong. These everyday experiences influence how much trust people are prepared to place in that director today.

The MBA Changed His Knowledge. What Else?

A few years ago, I worked in coaching with a senior director who had recently completed an Executive MBA. He was genuinely pleased with the experience. He had acquired a broader understanding of business, new analytical tools and a vocabulary that helped him participate more confidently in strategic discussions.

As we explored how he was applying what he had learned, something interesting emerged. He had always been a man with strong opinions, accustomed to defending his position until others eventually agreed or gave up arguing. The MBA had just made him considerably more articulate. He could now support his views with sophisticated business concepts, financial reasoning and strategic frameworks. Unfortunately, he was using much of this new knowledge to become even more convincing about what he had already known, had in mind or decided.

As a 360° feedback report showed, his managers, peers and even team members found it increasingly difficult to bring him information that challenged his assumptions. His peers struggled to explore alternatives with him because discussions quickly turned into exercises in defending positions. He listened carefully enough to identify weaknesses in someone else's argument, but rarely long enough to understand what that person was seeing from their part of the organisation.

Over time, collaboration with him had become exhausting. People were learning that disagreeing required considerable energy and seldom changed anything. Some began choosing their battles. Others simply stopped bringing certain matters to his attention. He was also invited less and less frequently to senior management meetings where the strategy was decided.

What drew my attention in our coaching conversations was the discrepancy between his intention and his impact. He genuinely believed he was contributing more because he could now make stronger arguments. Still, he had little awareness of how much organisational intelligence was becoming inaccessible to him precisely because of the way he used those arguments.

His Executive MBA had expanded his intellectual resources. It had also made an old leadership habit more effective: the habit of using his authority to prevail in discussions.

And this raised a question worth examining: 

When we become better at defending our judgement, do we also become better at recognising when it needs to change?

Five Ways Credibility Quietly Falls Behind

Credibility accumulates throughout a career. Experience matters, and people reasonably expect a senior leader to know what they are talking about.

But colleagues also observe how leaders use their expertise when challenged, when commitments become inconvenient or when events expose the limitations of their assumptions.

Over the years, I have noticed five behaviours through which otherwise capable leaders gradually undermine the credibility they have worked hard to establish.

1. Being the expert who cannot afford to be wrong or change their mind

Some leaders have built their careers on being the person with the answer. Eventually, being right becomes something they feel obliged to protect.

They challenge other people's reasoning more rigorously than their own and acknowledge alternative perspectives only after finding a way to incorporate them into their original position. Even a useful correction can feel threatening.

Colleagues continue to respect their knowledge while becoming reluctant to test ideas with them.

2. Keeping control long after others are capable of taking responsibility

A director delegates an assignment but continues to approve minor decisions, question intermediate steps and intervene whenever the approach differs from their own.

They may sincerely believe they are protecting quality. Their managers experience responsibility without sufficient authority to exercise it.

Eventually, assurances about empowerment lose credibility because daily experience tells a different story.

3. Making commitments before understanding what they require

Senior leaders, including experienced project managers, often face pressure to demonstrate confidence. They commit to deadlines, resources or outcomes before the people responsible for delivery have established what is feasible.

The initial promise may impress stakeholders. The consequences emerge when teams must renegotiate priorities, absorb additional work or explain delays they had anticipated.

People remember who made the commitment and who had to live with it.

4. Listening with the intention of responding

An experienced manager recognises a familiar problem within the first few sentences. Their mind moves towards a solution, explanation or counterargument.

They may miss what makes this situation different: changing customer expectations, tensions between departments or a concern someone is struggling to articulate.

Over time, colleagues learn how much of the story is worth telling. The leader continues receiving updates, although increasingly filtered ones.

5. Explaining away responsibility when things go wrong

Experienced leaders can usually explain why a decision produced disappointing results. Market conditions changed. Another department failed to deliver. Information was incomplete.

And sometimes these explanations are accurate.

The credibility problem appears when they consistently leave little room to examine the leader's own contribution. Colleagues notice that accountability is expected from everyone, while the most senior person remains unusually well protected by context.

Several of these behaviours may have contributed to a leader's earlier success. That history makes them difficult to recognise.

And because credibility is partly determined by other people's experience of us, we may be among the last to notice when that experience no longer supports the reputation we believe we have.

Credibility Can Grow Even Before Competence Is Complete

Among experienced managers, particularly those with backgrounds in engineering, finance, technology or project management, credibility is often associated with having a sufficiently good answer.

As responsibilities expand, however, leaders encounter decisions for which their expertise provides only part of the picture. A commercial director understands the customer but may underestimate operational constraints. An engineering director understands technical feasibility but may have limited visibility into financial trade-offs.

Consider a director who enters a meeting with a preferred solution and discovers that a colleague has identified a serious weakness in it.

They can defend their proposal, request further evidence or postpone the discussion. Depending on the circumstances, any of these responses may be reasonable.

They can also acknowledge that the new information changes their assessment and allow the discussion to develop.

For someone whose reputation rests on having the answers, this can be uncomfortable. Changing one's mind may feel like a loss of authority.

Yet colleagues who see their contributions taken seriously become more willing to raise concerns early, before those concerns turn into expensive problems.

This does not require turning every decision into a collective debate. Some situations demand immediate direction, and responsibility may remain entirely with the leader.

What matters is whether people can influence the leader's understanding when they have something relevant to contribute.

There is a further implication for Reliability. Leaders who acknowledge the limits of their knowledge are better positioned to make commitments they can honour. They can verify assumptions, involve the right people before promising an outcome and revisit agreements when circumstances change.

I have seen managers become more credible within weeks of changing these behaviours, without acquiring significant new knowledge. Their colleagues already knew they were competent. What changed was their experience of working with them.

If you would like to examine your own leadership habits, I have prepared a practical resource: 40 Ways to Strengthen Your Leadership Trustworthiness — 20 for Credibility and 20 for Reliability.

Choose a few behaviours that would make a noticeable difference to the people who work with you and start pèracticing them consistently.

What Has Actually Changed Since You Learned More?

Think about the last substantial investment you made in your professional development. Perhaps an Executive MBA, a PMP certification from PMI, a leadership programme, a certification or an assignment that considerably expanded your experience.

You can probably identify what you learned.

A more demanding exercise is to identify what colleagues now experience differently when working with you.

Can they challenge your assumptions without preparing for a prolonged argument? 

Do they have room to exercise the authority you have delegated? 

Can they rely on your commitments? 

When something goes wrong, do they see you examining your own contribution with the same rigour you apply to theirs?

These questions matter because the reputation that helped you reach your current position does not automatically describe how you lead today.

You know how much you've grown professionally. But what evidence do others have that you're more credible today?

When was the last time you had the opportunity to examine your leadership through the eyes of those who work with you? What might you discover about the way your experience, judgement and habits influence the trust others place in you? If these questions spark your curiosity, I invite you to an 1-on-1 Executive Clarity Call, where we can explore your current leadership challenges, exchange perspectives and see what new insights emerge from our conversation.

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On the Same Topic

Credibility is shaped by what people learn from working with us, particularly when our judgement is challenged, our established habits no longer serve us, or our decisions produce unexpected consequences. These resources explore how leaders can reconsider familiar behaviours, strengthen accountability and translate professional competence into greater trustworthiness.

That’s Just Who I Am!
The directness, speed and control that helped a leader succeed can become difficult to reconsider because they feel inseparable from professional identity. How much of what we defend as personality is actually a leadership habit that needs recalibration?

I Don't Play Corporate Games!
Avoiding organisational politics may feel like a principled choice. Yet when leaders keep their doubts and unfinished reasoning private, colleagues lose access to perspectives that could improve strategic decisions. What happens to credibility when professional integrity is expressed through silence?

How Much Self-Compassion Can Your Leadership Afford?
A leadership mistake can trigger harsh self-criticism or an elaborate explanation of why the circumstances were beyond our control. Neither necessarily helps us understand our contribution. How can leaders examine their decisions without protecting themselves from accountability?

40 Ways to Strengthen Your Leadership Trustworthiness
A practical guide with 20 behaviours that strengthen Credibility and 20 that strengthen Reliability. Use it to identify which everyday leadership habits deserve closer attention.

14 Management Patterns That Shape Intimacy and Trust
Even well-intentioned managers can develop habits that make colleagues reluctant to speak openly, challenge decisions or admit uncertainty. This practical guide examines 14 management patterns that influence psychological closeness and trust, helping you recognise how your everyday interactions may encourage openness or unintentionally discourage it.

Understanding the Trust Equation for Professional Relationships — Trusted Advisor Associates
A video from the organisation associated with Charles H. Green, co-author of The Trusted Advisor, explaining the framework behind Credibility, Reliability, Intimacy and Self-Orientation. It provides a useful conceptual companion to the practical leadership examples explored in this series.