One Size Doesn't Coach All

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Copy and Paste? No way!

Imagine walking into a conversation where, for once, the focus is entirely on you—your challenges and blind spots, or perhaps your ambitions that maybe you haven’t dared to say out loud. That’s the promise of coaching. One thing you need to know: coaching isn’t a standard recipe. What opens one leader’s path may do little for another.

Early in your career, you crave clarity, someone to help you untangle the rules of the game. Years later, you may long less for answers and more for meaning: Why do I lead the way I do? What truly drives me? And in between, you may wrestle with maintaining the balance between delivering results while helping others rise.

Coaching only works when it meets you exactly where you are. It’s not about clever questions or polished models; it’s about unlocking the perspective right for you, matching your life and professional phase. And when that happens, it feels less like guidance and more like fuel: the kind that propels you toward the leader you were meant to become.

Clarity Over Complexity

Alex never really knew what he was supposed to do as a manager. He had watched his former boss retire with mixed feelings. On one side, there was relief, because Alex had kept a long mental list of “never do this” moments from that experience. On the other side, there was a quiet hope that perhaps one day he would be chosen to take the lead. After all, he was the go-to buyer, fast, precise, and deeply reliable. 

Today, however, he finds himself in a storm: suppliers calling, deadlines pressing harder every day, his boss demanding progress, and his new team watching closely for guidance. The pressure is relentless, deliver on time, no excuses.

When the promotion came, Alex realised he had never truly imagined what stepping into management would mean. One promise he had made to himself was clear: he would not repeat his former boss’s mistakes.

In his new role, Alex is expected to allocate tasks, yet he struggles with what feels unfair. Passing his procurement responsibilities to his colleagues, many of whom are also his friends, does not sit well with him.

When we meet, he confesses that three days a week, he still handles procurement work that should have been reassigned. He justifies this by reminding himself of the strong relationships he had built with the suppliers and of the sensitivity of the equipment involved, and he fears the supply chain will suffer if he lets go. The managerial work is squeezed into the remaining two days. He makes himself unconditionally available to his colleagues, helping them succeed in every possible way, while his own projects pile up and grow stale. Ironically, his boss has started to notice that the equipment Alex is directly responsible for is now arriving with the biggest delays.

Alex cannot admit that these delays are caused by giving most of his time to support others. Deep down, he senses something is wrong, but as long as nothing major collapses, he convinces himself there is no reason to worry. The cost is hidden: he feels drained, restless, and for the first time, he questions whether stepping into management was a mistake.

This is the reality of many first-time managers. They find themselves torn between old tasks they do not know how to release, friendships they are afraid to jeopardise, and a new identity they have not yet stepped into. 

Coaching here is not about high-level reflection or grand visions. It is about clarity where confusion reigns. It helps them separate what belongs to the manager’s role from what no longer does.

It trains them to delegate without guilt, to set boundaries with confidence, and to communicate expectations clearly. It strengthens their ability to navigate the shift in relationships, from being one of the group to being the one responsible for the group. Most of all, it gives them the courage to let go of the comfort of doing in order to embrace the challenge of leading.

Balancing the Tightrope

Irene has been a manager for six years. She knows the mechanics of leadership well enough: setting targets, running meetings, handling performance reviews. She is no longer a first-timer figuring out delegation, yet she is not sitting at the senior table either. Her reality is one of constant pull in opposite directions.

On one side, senior leaders expect her to deliver flawless execution. Strategies arrive polished and urgent, and her job is to make them happen. On the other side, her team expects her to be more of a coach, a motivator, and a shield against those same pressures rather than a supervisor. She feels squeezed in the middle, torn between being the voice of the company to her people and the voice of her people to the company. Walking that line feels like balancing on a tightrope.

When we meet, Irene admits she often sacrifices her personal time working overtime she never declares. She spends her energy keeping others motivated, firefighting conflicts, and ensuring the numbers look good. Yet when she is asked in leadership meetings to share her vision or challenge a direction, she hesitates. She knows she should be more strategic, but she rarely has the headspace to think beyond the next quarter.

This is where the emotional layer becomes just as important as the operational one. A middle manager needs reassurance that it is neither a weakness nor laziness to feel exhausted, that doubt is normal when carrying pressure from both sides, and that ambition can coexist with vulnerability. They long to be recognised not only for output but also for the resilience required to keep people engaged while keeping the system moving.

Coaching is not just about building skills here and sometimes it is not even about understanding the bigger picture, as these people already have it or have access to it; it is about creating a safe space where Sofia can admit the loneliness of her position, the fear of being invisible, and the constant tension of proving she is ready for the next level without failing at this one.

At this stage, a coach who has personally experienced the same pressures in their prior professional life brings irreplaceable value. Having walked the tightrope themselves, they know the rigid mindsets that can trap a middle manager, such as the belief that saying “no” is career suicide, that visibility comes only through flawless execution or that their worth for the organisation is as high as their productivity. They understand the invisible weight and can guide the shift toward influence, presence, and courage. That is the transformation coaching enables: turning the middle manager’s emotional survival into a platform for true leadership growth.

Beyond Tactics: Into Meaning

Andrea has been in leadership for over thirty-five years. He has run large business development projects, co-owned a couple of medium-sized businesses, negotiated complex contracts, and provided employment to hundreds of people. According to him, he knows so very well making money - I quote “making ridiculous amounts of money”. Both for his organisation, and for himself and his family. The strategic and tactical side of management no longer intimidates him. As well as anything else in life. Yet, in recent months, he has started to feel a quiet dissonance. The question is no longer how to do things, but why he is doing them.

In his business, he is outstanding in keeping everyone involved, yet leaving the meeting rooms, he has a constant and unshakable feeling of emptiness. His calendar is packed, his responsibilities greater than ever, and his influence and power undeniable, but he wonders if the impact he leaves behind is as strong as the numbers he delivers. The old measures of success - annual revenue, status and prestige, selected network - no longer feel sufficient.

This is the shift many senior managers encounter. Their needs move from clarity and balance to depth and meaning. Coaching at this stage is about holding up a mirror, not to correct mistakes but to illuminate patterns. Andrea does not need another management framework; he needs to explore why he leads the way he does, what values truly drive him, and what kind of legacy he wants to leave in the organisation and to the world.

There is also a profound emotional need here: the desire to feel that years of effort have not only built results but also shaped people, culture, and direction, and possibly beyond into the benefits created for society at large. Senior managers long for affirmation that their leadership matters beyond the quarterly scorecard. My coaching helped Andrea embrace this reflection without fear, challenged them to articulate their deeper motivations and to align their daily actions with the bigger picture they care about.

And coaching at this stage can be even more. It can be about parallel construction, where the leader gradually builds a future identity alongside the current one. It can be about identity transformation, moving from “what I do” to “who I am” and “what I stand for.” It can be about rediscovering a path that excites again, about staying relevant and energised even after having already “climbed Everest and walked on the Moon” as Andrea said. For some, it is about designing a professional exit that reignites their vitality, physically and mentally, and propels them into endeavours that hold deep emotional meaning, without the fear of drifting into irrelevance.

At this level, coaching is no longer about tactics or performance improvement. It is about ensuring that leadership remains alive, meaningful, and profoundly human.

Right Coaching, Right Time

Alex, Irene, Andrea. Different faces of leadership, different seasons of life and of the leadership journey. One was learning to let go of tasks, one was balancing the impossible demands in the middle management, and one was searching for meaning after a lifetime of outstanding achievement. What unites them is not their age or their role, but the truth that coaching only works when it meets you exactly where you are.

For first-time managers, more directive coaching brings clarity in the fog. For mid-level managers, it is a balance on the tightrope. For senior leaders, it is the search for meaning beyond tactics and strategies. At every stage, the questions are different, but the need is the same: a space where growth can happen, free from judgment, fueled by insight, and ultimately anchored in action.

No manager is too early, too busy, or too advanced for coaching. The mistake is to believe that what got you here will be enough to take you further. Leadership is not a straight climb, nor is life. Both are a series of transformations, sometimes many happening at the same time. And the right coaching, at the right time, is what turns those transformations into breakthroughs.

So ask yourself: 

Where are you on your journey, and what would change if you invited coaching to walk beside you?

I look forward to continuing this conversation. I am here to support you in creating sustainable performance and genuine wellbeing.

Until next time, keep thriving!

Alina Florea

Your Management Performance Coach 

How can I support you?

Growth Mindset for New Managers - Your online autonomy training is designed to catalyse your personal growth and ensure your fast transition to your first management role.

The Manager Mindset: One-on-one coaching designed to boost your performance and enhance your sense of fulfilment and satisfaction in life.

Master Your Resilience - Group coaching that helps you navigate life's challenges with greater ease and flow, empowering you to thrive through adversity.

Complimentary Strategy Call (FREE) - Let’s craft your personalised roadmap for transformation. Discover where coaching can take you in just 6 months with a free, strategic call to set your path toward success.