Begin as You Mean

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Every coaching session brings a shift.

Sometimes it’s loud: a breakthrough idea, a bold decision, a clarity that changes everything in the moment.

Other times, it’s quiet: you leave thinking nothing really happened, only to notice weeks later that a question, a phrase, or even a silence has stayed with you, reshaping the way you look at things.

The first session is special. It sets the tone. And the way you walk into it matters. That’s why I called this piece Begin as You Mean.

Over the years, working with managers from many different companies, I’ve seen countless ways leaders step into their first coaching conversation. Some arrive relaxed, curious, even ready to socialise. Others arrive cautiously, sometimes even upset that someone else decided they “should be there.”

Some asked for coaching themselves. Others were strongly invited by their organisations. Each way of showing up is human. Each reveals something about how you manage transitions, pressure, or the unknown.

And here’s something often overlooked: when a company offers you coaching, it is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of trust and belief in you.

They see you as central to what comes next: a cultural change, a transition, a growth phase. They want you to succeed, to handle pressure without burning out, to embrace the values of transformation faster, and to expand into your next chapter of leadership with clarity and impact.

So how do you begin?

Not with perfection. Not with a script. What matters is the willingness to open the door, even slightly. Coaching comes alive when you bring not just your polished side, but also your questions, dilemmas, and even frustrations.

Because here is the truth: I will not meet you with advice. No real coach will, unless you ask for it. You already have knowledge, tools, and experience. You don’t need me to tell you what you already know.

I will meet you on your turf: your mindset.

Why mindset? Because it is the lens through which you use everything you know. It shapes how you think under pressure, how you decide, how you lead others and yourself. When the lens shifts, everything else aligns differently. That’s when new results become possible.

This is why the first conversation matters. Over time, I’ve noticed patterns in how managers show up. Patterns that don’t block coaching, but slow it down.

One manager once shrugged when I asked what he’d like to focus on. “I don’t know… maybe we’ll find out.” And we did. But it took longer, because vagueness also kept the conversation safe. Coaching works best when you dare to be specific, even if it feels uncomfortable.

Another time, the first meeting became an interview about my credentials, background, and methods. All fair questions. But what it revealed was more important: trust would be the real theme of our work together.

Some leaders arrive shining with achievements, eager to demonstrate there is nothing to fix. They don’t always notice it, but the need to prove they don’t need coaching is another way of staying safe. Coaching is not about who you are today. It’s about who you can become.

I’ve also had sessions where the entire hour was about other people: colleagues, team members, bosses or even dear ones. The stories were valuable, but incomplete. At some point, the question has to land: “And what is your part in this dynamic?” That’s when awareness begins.

And sometimes, the session feels like a boardroom update: laptop open, targets listed, metrics reviewed. The expectation is that I’ll provide nuggets to take away. Instead, I’ll often invite them to close the laptop and simply notice the space between words, to see the assumptions behind their story.

Other approaches show up, too.

There’s the overly polite “Yes, that’s a good idea” without ever adding your own voice.

There’s the closed mindset: “I’ve tried this before; it won’t work for me.”

There’s the corporate language that hides the raw truth behind polished terms.

There’s the art of deflection: every personal question turned into an external story. I once asked a client how she handles pressure. She immediately launched into a brilliant ten-minute analysis of the market and competitors. Impressive, yes. But nothing about her. A pause and the gentle question “And how do you experience this yourself?” finally brought the conversation back to her.

And there’s the passive stance: “Just tell me what to do.”

None of these approaches is wrong. They are human and a reflection of your need to stay in control. And control is something managers value, rightly so! But when you carry too much of it into coaching, the conversation stays small.

The good news? Coaching doesn’t need perfection. It doesn’t need scripts or flawless answers. It just needs a door left slightly open.

Even in the most guarded sessions, seeds are planted. They may take longer to grow. But when you arrive with a touch of honesty, a hint of curiosity, and a willingness to see things differently, the process comes alive much faster.

So here is my invitation: Begin as you mean.

• If you mean to grow, allow yourself to remain open.
• If you mean to lead differently, begin exploring what can be new by letting yourself see differently.
• If you know there might be biases holding you back, give yourself permission to explore them.
• If you mean to inspire others, begin by understanding your intent.
• If you mean to gain clarity, begin by asking yourself questions.
• If you mean to build trust, begin by allowing yourself to show a little of your own vulnerability.
• And if you mean to thrive, begin by allowing yourself to unlearn what no longer serves you.

You don’t need to reveal everything. You don’t need to have perfect answers (and sometimes you will not have). And you don’t need to touch what you are not ready to.

What you do need is presence. That is enough.

I trust you to make the shift. And I have complete faith in the coaching process.

The rest? We’ll do it together.

I look forward to continuing this conversation. I am here to support you in creating sustainable performance and genuine wellbeing.

Until next time, keep thriving!

Alina Florea

Your Management Performance Coach 

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