Emotional Intelligence for Impactful Decisions

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"Alina, you talk about 'thinking saboteurs'. But why would I need to know mine? I can hardly believe I have such a thing!"

When I launched the Master Your Resilience program based on Positive Intelligence®️, I aimed to show managers how much potential they have to elevate their decision-making. This program is designed to help them make decisions with clarity and intention, rather than letting emotions take over. After all, managers are valued for the quality of their choices—so why not ensure those choices are informed, not just swayed by fleeting feelings?

Before bringing these principles to clients, I tried them on myself for six months. I approached this as an experiment, driven by curiosity but also a bit of scepticism. I was intrigued by Positive Intelligence because it’s based on neuroscience and positive psychology, but I honestly didn’t see how "thinking saboteurs" applied to me. Sure, I was aware of my Inner Critic, but none of the other nine saboteurs—like Avoider, Controller, or Hyper-Achiever—felt relevant. I thought, “How could these be affecting my emotions, thoughts, or actions?”

Then, I took the saboteur assessment. To my surprise, Hyper-Achiever was my strongest! At first, I took it as a badge of honour—a reason for my career accomplishments, even my C-suite role. It felt like proof of my drive. 

Yet, my experience reminded me that to understand a concept, I need to stay open and observe, rather than dismiss it right away. So, for six months, I did this:

1) Kept my saboteur assessment handy.

2) Noted my thoughts, especially under pressure.

3) Tracked my mood and emotions when stressed.

4) Paid close attention to my actions and reactions, reflecting on what was behind them.

5) Practised short, 2-minute emotional regulation exercises every few hours, pairing them with something as routine as drinking water.

Gradually, I noticed a pattern. Many of my reactions were fueled by my drive to achieve. The harder I pushed, the farther the goal seemed to move. Hyper-Achiever, my “ally,” was setting the bar high—only for Controller, my second-strongest saboteur, to step in, reminding me I hadn’t quite met my own goals, fueling frustration, self-criticism, and even shame for not moving forward fast enough. This was only one of the “perks” of Hyper-Achiever’s influence. 

In the early days of coaching and building an online presence, I looked up to seasoned coaches who were miles ahead in the field. I devoured their posts and newsletters, noting their storytelling skills and how they made each piece a lesson in self-reflection.

Then, one day, I noticed something odd: I was postponing my posts, day after day. At first, I justified it—“I don’t have time”—Hyper-Rational, my third saboteur, loves providing such excuses. Yet when I looked closer at how I used my time, I realized I had at least two one-hour blocks free each day.

Then, a gentle voice inside me said, “You do have the time to write a short post.” But before I could even finish the thought, a new one popped up: “Two hours won’t be enough to match the quality of my mentors.” There it was—the perfectionist mindset of the Stickler, along with a dose of Hyper-Achiever competitiveness. I had started comparing myself to people with 10 years more experience than I had—a completely unfair comparison, to them and me.

The light bulb went off: in my pursuit of projecting the “perfect” professional image, I’d convinced myself my skills weren’t mature enough to write content that would attract managers’ attention. Not knowing how to achieve this level in one go, I chose inaction, justifying it with “not enough time” or “conditions aren’t ideal for writing daily".

This was for me a real eye-opener.

I realized I was using similar thought patterns in other areas of my life too—after all, it was still me there, not someone else! I saw moments when I’d acted the same way in different areas of my life, but also in my former role as Managing Director, and just thinking back on it stings. But despite the discomfort, this discovery was a turning point. It made me understand why these thought patterns are called Saboteurs. They operate in stealth mode, slipping under the radar, and if you’re not aware of them, they can quietly undermine you and your results. I’d always thought my Hyper-Achiever drive was a key to my success—and maybe it was, in some ways. But over-relying on it could also lead me to make less-than-ideal decisions.

After months of observing these saboteurs in action, I started to see how these inner voices—some loud and strict, others seeming wise or even friendly—can trigger each other. They pull my focus from what’s truly important, tempting me with actions that bring a quick fix or temporary calm, only to leave me facing the same unsolved problem later, sometimes feeling even worse than before.

For instance, I realized that postponing my writing was one of the worst decisions I could’ve made. I was doing it to ease my discomfort, fearing my posts wouldn’t meet the high quality I expected of myself. I worried this might harm my professional image. But when I saw it for what it was, I couldn’t help but laugh—it was pure nonsense.

This insight helped me take a new approach: I began setting blocks of uninterrupted time in my calendar to plan, research, and write my content. I also started accepting that my posts might not always hit that “perfect” mark, but they’d still be useful for people like you—professionals navigating their career transitions. This new perspective was even more inspiring because it aligned with what I love: helping people become the leaders they’re meant to be.

While this story is just my experience, it’s a small example of how we often make decisions without realizing how much they’re emotionally driven.

Imagine: every moment of your life is shaped by the choices you’ve made before.

How do I know? Neuroscience shows us that the brain creates pathways for familiar decision patterns, considering them “safe” just because they’re well-worn. When we stick to these familiar paths, even if they’re unhelpful, they feel comfortable. Unfamiliar approaches, on the other hand, can trigger the brain’s fight-or-flight response, even if they might serve us better. So, the brain may accept a routine that’s unproductive simply because it’s familiar.

Think about overthinking: you end your workday, but your mind can’t rest. You review your task list over and over, or replay difficult conversations with your team, clients, or boss, questioning your performance. This might be the Stickler saboteur, pushing you to obsess over perfection.

Think about that colleague you helped, only to feel disappointed when they didn’t acknowledge your support. Instead of enjoying your evening, you’re stuck dwelling on how ungrateful they seemed. This is the Pleaser at work. If you recognized this pattern, you could let it go, or maybe you’d set clearer boundaries before offering help.

Think about how easy it is to let your inner critic take over, keeping you trapped in thoughts, emotions, or even self-doubt for hours or days.

Think about the urge to map out plans with multiple “IF” scenarios, believing that the more contingencies you account for, the more professional you are. But what happens if the first “IF” is off? All the effort spent building this plan can feel wasted. This tendency, driven by the Controller, can lead you to believe that more control equates to better outcomes.

Think about the times you chose silence over speaking up, even when you had valuable insight to share. That silence was still your decision, though it may not feel that way. It could be the Avoider stepping in, nudged by your Hyper-Achiever, intent on protecting your professional image. But in the long run, avoiding these moments can harm your relationships. Communication builds trust, and knowing when to take the lead and when to listen is key.

Think about every time a new idea has you excited, but halfway through, you abandon it for another “even better” idea. This Restless saboteur pulls you toward “new pastures” before you’ve finished with the “old ones,” often leaving projects incomplete and creating confusion for your team and frustration for your manager. Without awareness, this habit can breed disappointment and frustration.

Think about those times you felt unsupported by upper management, tempted to share your grievances about how challenging they are to work with. Do you find yourself feeling underappreciated or restricted in your role? That’s the Victim mindset creeping in. It might feel strange to see it, but acknowledging it can free you from the patterns you don’t want to fall into.

As managers, emotions are invaluable; they’re a source of insight, offering clues to what’s happening beneath the surface. But to make strong decisions, we need to treat emotions as data—not the main driver of the decision-making wheel.

How do you do it?

First, you start by learning to regulate your emotions. Emotions are there for a reason—just like pain alerts you to physical danger, emotions keep you safe on a mental and emotional level. Emotional regulation isn’t about shutting down your feelings or numbing them. It’s about allowing yourself to feel them without letting them take control, keeping them within a manageable range so you can move forward with actions aligned to your goals. This skill begins with something as simple yet powerful as breathwork and connecting to your senses.

Second, you learn to recognize the voice of your Saboteurs and neutralize it so that you can hear the voice of your inner Sage. You disempower Saboteurs by transforming your language—practising ownership and assertiveness. This alone shifts the dynamics of your relationships, both personal and professional.

Third, you learn to activate your five Sage powers: empathy, curiosity, innovation, navigation, and decisive action. Through practice, you gain the ability to harness these strengths and even turn the unique energies of each Saboteur into assets—while staying mindful not to let them go unchecked and derail your goals.

The Master Your Resilience program is

the perfect space to tackle these Saboteurs head-on and find new ways to manage the challenges of your role. Whether you’re in the midst of a career transition or have been in your management role for over five years, this program is built for you. With small group sessions of up to six managers or entrepreneurs, it’s a safe place where shared experiences help normalize common challenges and foster collective learning. You’ll not only understand your thought processes better but also learn to observe others' thinking patterns—a key management skill.

Master Your Resilience is one of the most powerful programs for personal and professional growth. Once you gain awareness, there’s no going back. With practice, you’ll perfect your skills in emotional regulation, quieting the Saboteur voice, and strengthening your Sage. You’ll find yourself in the driver’s seat of your life and career, equipped to make decisions with clarity and resilience. You’ll build high-performance habits that stay with you over a lifetime, growing stronger with continued practice.

The program details are available HERE.

If you’d like a free review of your Saboteur profile and insights into strengthening your Sage powers, download the brochure, complete the assessment (link at the end of the brochure), and schedule a free strategy call with me.

Registrations are also open for the 2025 Master Your Resilience program. Join the interest list HERE, and I’ll follow up to guide you through the next steps.

If you found this content inspiring or useful, please share it with a colleague or friend who could benefit. Your support helps spread this knowledge, allowing me to continue offering it in the future. I appreciate your interest and applaud your commitment to growth.

Until next time, keep thriving!

Alina Florea

Your Management Performance Coach 

How can I support you?

The Manager Mindset - One-on-one coaching, designed to boost your performance AND  enhance your sense of fulfilment and satisfaction in life.

Master Your Resilience - Group coaching that helps you navigate life's challenges with greater ease and flow, empowering you to thrive through adversity.

Complimentary Strategy Call (FREE) - Let’s craft your personalized roadmap for transformation. Discover where coaching can take you in just 6 months with a free, strategic call to set your path toward success.

Summary:

Our minds often operate on autopilot, guided by familiar thought patterns that we don’t realize may be holding us back. In management, where clear and informed decision-making is essential, these “thinking saboteurs” can drive us toward quick, emotionally charged responses that may ultimately sabotage our long-term goals. Recognizing these patterns is the first step to gaining control over them.

The Master Your Resilience program focuses on three key practices: emotional regulation, identifying the voices of your saboteurs, and strengthening the Sage powers—empathy, curiosity, innovation, navigation, and action. Together, these practices help you ground your decisions in a calm, focused state and build stronger, healthier relationships, both personally and professionally.

Through small group sessions, Master Your Resilience offers a supportive environment where managers can share experiences, gain insights into their thought processes, and learn to manage their inner dialogue effectively. This program enables you to create habits that help you navigate challenges with greater confidence and resilience, empowering you to lead with clarity and purpose.