A March for Renewal

Reading time: 5 minutes 

Embarking on a March for Renewal 

As the calendar turns to March, we find ourselves stepping the threshold of spring, increasingly enveloped by its embrace. In a very unexpected way, rain has been a constant companion for two weeks, with the forecast promising even more of the same next week.

Yet, amidst this dampness, every morning presents its gift: the fresh and moist unparalleled fragrance of spring. The aftermath of winter leaves many of us yearning for the sun's warmth and nature's rejuvenation. It is a time of anticipation, where the promise of renewal stirs the air.

I felt inspired by these ideas, and today I bring you some thoughts about habits. Habits create the structure our life revolves around. These are routines we willingly embrace or painfully accept and form the backbone of our existence. Even those among us who claim to disdain routines are not free from its grasp.

Unwittingly, the choices we make today, and choose to repeat in the days to come, weave themselves into the very essence of our being. It's all too easy to succumb to patterns or relationships that, deep down, we know do not serve us well. Before we realize it, we're entangled by habits that seem impossible to escape.

These habits need not be monumental to have an impact. Over time, their cumulative effect can be profound, potentially altering the course of your life over three to five years. While many people celebrate virtuous habits, we all maintain routines that are detrimental to us. Insisting in virtuous habits, make us successful and happy in time. Maintaining vicious habits has the opposite effect, sometimes extremely detrimental to our balance and well-being.

Just browse this list:

• Awakening morning after morning, with a sense of dread due to insufficient sleep.

• Allowing the carelessness of others to unsettle you.

• Hesitating to seek help when needed or rejecting it when offered.

• Accepting praise with scepticism or judgement.

• Remaining passive, waiting for invitations rather than taking initiative.

• Ignoring opportunities to slow down and savour the moment.

• Wasting precious moments on social media, neglecting the presence of your loved ones.

• Compromising your sleep and thus diminishing your resilience to the following day's challenges.

• Draining your energy in unfulfilling relationships out of fear of seeming selfish.

• Doubting your capabilities and worth, caught in a cycle of self-criticism.

• Indulging in one extra bite, which you justify with the need for relaxation. 

• Speaking of actions more than actualizing them.

• Abandoning too soon the exploration of new avenues due to perceived challenges.

• Fixating solely on what is absent or “miserable” in your life 

• Casting the shadows of past failures into your future, envisaging only risks and failures. 

• Dwelling incessantly on where you think you ought to be, rather than where you are. 

• Reacting with irritation when offered advice on alternative approaches.

• Over-sharing with colleagues, making you regret it afterwards. 

• Defending each of your decisions vigorously, thus closing the door to constructive feedback. 

• Focusing on the actions of others instead of forging your path.

• Jumping to the next available new and exciting action, instead of pursuing the started journey.

• Asserting the futility of change with the mantra, "This is just who I am.” 

As you see, habits create an invisible fabric sustaining our life. At best, this fabric acts as a comfortable hammock, giving us the leisure of a weightless sensation that feels akin to freedom. However, when our habits are not kept in check, this fabric transforms into a spider cob that gradually engulfs and suffocates us, slowly and steadily.

How can we break free from the chains of detrimental habits and embrace a life of intention and fulfilment?

A View on the Tapestry of Our Habits

 You might think: What are you talking about, Alina? What do these have to do with management?

The answer is simple: perhaps nothing, perhaps everything. This is for you to assess.

The above habits are just a selection of the ones unveiled in the managerial coaching sessions I have had with my clients, managers and leaders like you and me.

They illustrate not just individual challenges but also opportunities for profound transformation. I am here to cheer the work, effort and dedication of my clients who saw coaching as their opportunity to learn to navigate their reactions, responses and interactions differently, charting a course toward positive change and finding structure in practising a new discipline of thought, emotion, and action.

Our lives, sculpted by habits, reflect a brain striving for efficiency. These routines, however favourable, benign or detrimental, are just a mechanism by which our brain conserves energy by adhering to something that we perceive or translate to be “familiarity”.

Imagine that when one process happens in our body, whether an unconscious one or a very conscious one, neurons are firing together in our brain in what is called neural networks. And for each specific function, thought, emotion, feeling or reaction, only specific neurons are firing.

Initially, when our brain is unfamiliar with a certain activity, it forms new neural connections to accommodate that mode of operation. Consider your first attempt at skating. As soon as you put on your skates and try to stand, your brain starts creating these connections, enabling you to maintain balance, distribute your weight safely, and master the complex movements of skating on ice or pavement. This process allows you to coordinate your movements as effectively as possible and quickly correct any imbalances, ensuring your safety.

The more you practice in the skating rink, the more your confidence grows in managing your movements on ice or outside the rink. This is because the neural networks responsible for your skating skills are strengthened and refined, boosting your confidence in your performance. However, if you take a break from skating and don't return to the rink for two years when you finally do decide to try skating again, it may feel as if you're putting on your skates for the very first time. This occurs because the brain does not maintain neural circuits that are not actively used, as doing so would require an unsustainable amount of energy. Therefore, to conserve energy, these unused neural networks are dismantled.

To conserve energy, our brain tends to favour a repeated response, utilizing the existing neural pathways it has already established. This reliance on familiar patterns, while efficient in terms of saving cognitive energy, can trap us in a cycle of predictability. As a result, we often find ourselves repeating past behaviours unconsciously, perpetuating our habits. This leads us to rationalize our actions with the phrase "But this is how I am." Such responses feel instinctive and comfortable, making them the default choice in many situations.

The term "comfortable" deserves careful consideration. Although certain automatic responses may not feel comfortable or even seem quite painful, the brain finds it easier to select these repeated actions. This preference is because such actions are backed by stronger mental "muscles," which have been developed through previous repetitions.

It is through these repeated actions and reactions that we forge our character, for better or worse.

Through habitual repetition, our brain suggests that we continue responding in the same manner in the future. Any deviation from this pattern is deemed unfamiliar and, by extension, potentially threatening. Consequently, our brain intensifies its reliance on these familiar responses to ensure our emotional well-being. This process turns the familiarity of our thoughts, feelings, and actions into a safety net, eventually shaping our identity and character.

The nature of our recurring thoughts can significantly empower or weaken us, depending on their content. These thoughts influence our emotions, which then solidify into persistent moods, making it apparent to those around us when we are distracted, upset, or not feeling well.

Negative behaviours can also become reflexive responses to the challenges and hurdles we encounter, acting as our default mode of reaction. This automatic pilot governs how we interact with others and how we treat ourselves, embedding these behaviours deeply within our daily lives. 

Navigating the Terrain of Habit Transformation

These reactions, often automatic, lead us to a resigned acceptance of "This is ME," as if we're marionettes rather than architects of our destiny. Yet, each reaction is a choice, albeit one our brain makes based on familiarity to conserve energy. Embracing new thoughts or behaviours demands the formation of new neural connections, a task both daunting and energy-intensive.

Relapse into old habits typically stems from an already-existent state of energy depletion created by exhaustion or distress, hindering the brain's capacity to forge new pathways. This resistance to change is a physiological response, yet succumbing to it only perpetuates our dissatisfaction.

As we move forward in this article, let us consider how these reflections on habits and character can illuminate your path, both personally and professionally. In recognizing and reshaping your habits, you hold the power to redefine your interactions, your responses, and ultimately, your destiny.

By becoming aware of and recognising these patterns, you put yourself in a position to confront your choice between the comfort of the known and the growth found in change. It is a journey of breaking free from the mental confines you've constructed, challenging the narrative of inevitability, and embracing the potential for renewal.

Spring symbolizes a departure from the past, an opportunity to lighten our physical, emotional and mental loads. It invites everyone to assess what in our life does not serve anymore and what needs evolution. Just as we declutter our homes, so too must we declutter our minds and souls.

In the realm of management, any change begins with an honest inventory (you call audit) of the current state “As Is”. So before concluding this letter, I will help you conduct an audit of your habits, hence consider the following:

Reflect on your presence in the moment and your predominant thoughts, behaviours, and emotions.

What patterns (repeated thoughts, emotions and reactions) do you notice to be a constant presence in your life? How do you feel when you operate under each one? When you operate under them, how do you feel? Which one makes you proud of yourself? Which one makes you anxious, upset, disappointed, guilty, ashamed? Make a list of what you see to be unuseful or not serving you at all at this point in your life.

• Identify aspects of yourself that have been shaped by these patterns and consider the impact they create in you and others, and whether you can notice in which way these patterns skew or obstruct your perception or understanding of the reality around you.

• Contemplate what you are or what you might have been missing in your life due to these stale patterns.
• Choose one such redundant pattern to discard for a lighter being.
• What is it that you can commit concerning this pattern?
• Make this commitment and pursue it.

Take a moment today and answer these questions. Use only 15 minutes. Your response need not be exhaustive, nor perfect, find just one habit you would like to redesign or shift. Start with one. You owe yourself taking the first step towards a new definition of success.

Embrace the renewal you are looking for this spring, and may it bring you the mental liberation you seek.

Wishing you a spring filled with wonder and transformation!

Until next time, keep thriving!

Alina Florea

Your Management Performance Coach

Summary:

 

In 'A March for Renewal,' we embark on an exploration of habits and their pivotal role in shaping our lives. As spring heralds a season of new beginnings, this piece dives into how your daily routines—both minor and significant—can gradually sculpt the course of your existence, highlighting the fine line between comfort and complacency. You are invited to scrutinize the habits that define you, urging an awareness of how they can both support and limit your growth, often encapsulated in the thought, 'But this is who I am.'

The discussion extends to the brain's habit mechanisms, emphasizing our neural inclination towards the familiar to conserve energy, yet also noting this as a barrier to change. Highlighting neural plasticity, it underscores the deliberate, albeit strenuous, effort required to break free from the grasp of ingrained patterns. The narrative calls for a reflective self-audit of our habits as springtime offers a metaphorical and literal chance for renewal, advocating for a conscious decision to shed those patterns that hinder us, thereby paving the way for personal evolution and a fresh definition of success.

Key insights:

• Habits form the core of our being, influencing our decisions and identity.
• Our brain's bias for routine can lead to a cycle of predictability.
• Overcoming habitual responses demands forming new, energy-demanding neural pathways.
• Identifying and modifying negative habits is key to both personal and professional growth.
• The advent of spring represents a chance to cleanse our mental and behavioural spaces.
• Insights into habit formation can enhance management strategies.
• Conducting a habit audit can reveal obsolete patterns, guiding us towards beneficial changes.
• Committing to change even a single habit can initiate wider transformations.
• The journey of change is a blend of challenge and opportunity.
• Welcoming renewal fosters mental freedom and redefines achievement.